Parenting

Being a mother has to be one of God’s greatest gifts.
Until becoming a mother, I had no clue what love was. Let me explain;
back then I knew “love” to be something that makes you feel good. I equated it with something you get when you are in a relationship or what you feel around friends and family. I underestimated it. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it to be a powerful feeling but I didn’t know the depths of what it could be, or mean.

I considered myself a mother the moment I knew I was pregnant. I had not had proof yet but I KNEW I was. I felt it somewhere deep inside my heart… perhaps on intuition. I enjoyed walking daily before I was pregnant. I remember one day walking at night, I was alone and suddenly I had this message pop into my mind saying “You are not alone, take extra care of yourself.” I silently said a prayer for safety and I kept walking. My whole being shifted from that moment to a carefree teenager (I was 18 at the time) to a cautious Momma bear. It wasn’t something I had tried to do, it just was. I knew from that moment on I would be a bit more aware of myself and my surroundings. I went from fearful to fearless, ready to protect this little being inside me at no costs. I knew at that moment, I was no longer “one” but “two”.

It was when I became a mother;
I no longer feared to speak up for myself. Before I would keep my words to myself if there was something I didn’t feel was right. (Whether it was something someone did or said) Now, I knew I had to be my truth and say something when it was needed. I know being a mother now, my child looks to me to know what it means to stand up for what you believe in- even if you are alone. I want him to know that it is up to us to lift one another up. If one person is being picked on- we must stand up and help that one.

It was when I became a mother;
I learned self accountability. When I was growing up my ego was always in the way. I say that not in a “look at me” type of ego, but a child like ego. I was aware of myself and my feelings…not so much others. If I had hurt someone, instead of trying to understand it from their view, I would quickly get into “defense mode” Any criticism was always taken to heart. It disabled me from seeing others. it made me selfish. Since becoming a mother I have learned empathy, that everything you do has and will have an effect on someone. As a mother, there isn’t much that I will do that won’t affect my son. I must always be aware of my words and how I use them. I must fully be aware of my actions, and what kind of impact it will have on not only him but everyone around me.

It was when I became a mother;
I learned selflessness. It kind of goes with the above… Every day, I wake up and think of “how can I make his day better?” Instead of immediately thinking of “me, me, me” I try to think of what brings a smile to his face. Playing and getting down to his level usually does it! But through him, i have learned to try to expend that selflessness to others. “Is there someone who needs a hand today?” or maybe someone needs a shoulder to cry on..? There is always going to be someone in need- we just have to look for them, and do what we can to brighten even a moment in their life.

It was when I became a mother;
I found myself! I mean I really found myself… I had a general idea of who I was before but I had forgotten of the child that is still within! I had concerned myself so much with “growing up” that I forgot how to “grown down” 😉 It is sad that we all start off as exuberant, fun loving children and then grow up to be so tied to work, and stress. It is easy to forget that we still are that same child from years ago. We still have this need for fun, laughter, and play. My son makes me play with him and guess what? I love it! Whether it is dancing, singing, running around all day, or even seeing life again through the eyes of a child and the miracle of what life is, it is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a parent. You quickly remember how beautiful and magical life is. You want to take it all in again. The enthusiasm in children is contagious!

It was when I became a mother;
I remembered God. I say “remember” and not “found” because I have always believed… I do believe we all come from God but I had not connected with the feeling in a long time. I believe God to be like a Father to us all… but i don’t see it as a dictator like the bible or other texts may represent “God” as. I look around and yes, I see pain and hardship, but I see free will too. I see that whoever God may be, he/she allows us to live and do whatever we need to. Yes, we have murder and war here, but we have so much love and beauty here in this world too. We have that CHOICE of what we are going to do with this life we have been given. We also don’t have the right to tell others what they should or shouldn’t do, (or believe). The way I see is like this; If God doesn’t force us to be or do anything…who are we to do the same to each other? The very fact that we have the ability to do whatever we want (whether for good or bad) is a testament to the fact that he is not a dictator! Otherwise we wouldn’t be capable of doing such things. Getting back to being a mother, I see my job as I believe God is… I will guide this child to the best of my ability, but I must always recognize that he is still his own being, I must not interfere too much for it is HIM that is making his life- not me. So through being a mother I have found a new idea of who I believe God to be and I have learned restraint and patience.

These are just a few of the many things I have been blessed with understanding through becoming a mother