Reflecting, Spiritual

Some things on my mind




an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.


I have been doing a lot of thinking in regards to that word; Choice. (Okay, it’s starting to look a bit weird now. Ever realize that? The more you say a word or write it, it just starts to look and sound so strange? Just me? okay.)

Back to my first thought…

Life has been a little more difficult lately. I won’t go into detail out of respect for others and their privacy, but it has been more stressful. It’s time of trouble and worries that you learn so much. I feel that I have been blessed with a relatively easy-going life. I have a beautiful family who are truly there for one another. There really isn’t any greater gift than that. A lot of times I get stuck in my head and I don’t really see the people around me. I love them with all my heart and because I KNOW that, I assume they know that too. But, how often is it the case that I actually let them know? How often do we assume things about others, but don’t tell them? Or ask them?

I go through times in my life where I feel alone. I’m sure we all do. That thought of “being alone” can be very frightening at times. Where does this feeling even come from? Should I investigate it more? Tear it down and really dig at it? Or should I just leave it alone and come back to it another time? (Because it does and will return.) How many of us go through our lives living so much in our heads just believing and going on as we do, and then when confronted with some event, stops us in our tracks and we just freeze up. Events meaning many things… a death of a loved one for example. These moments often catapult us to a state of mind in which we are forced to ponder that age old question; “What is life and what am I doing here…and why do I feel this pain?” We live every day seemingly happy going on as if we will live forever…and then that shock comes. “DEATH”. Whether others or the prospect of it being close to us. (Sickness, near-death experiences) we panic and freak out as if this should come as some surprise to us? Let me tell you, every day a death occurs. I’m not necessarily talking about physical death here. We die over and over again throughout our life. Everything is constantly changing. That truly (in my opinion) is the only constant in life! Death and rebirth. We do it every night and morning as we fall asleep and wake up to another day, for an example. The death of one day, and the rebirth of a new. We do this so often and don’t think anything of it! What a miracle it is…. to be comfortable with the idea that our bodies by some unimaginable force, forces us to close our eyes every night and just “goes somewhere” and then comes back and behold! A new day. We have got so used to this, that we think nothing of it. Imagine being some new creature and feeling this heavy force upon you, as your eyes grow heavy and begin to shut…I  bet you, this new creature would be terrified… mumbling; “What’s happening to me?!” Then a moment comes and it can no longer fight the force and just falls asleep, and in what seems like moments as pictures pop in and end (dreams) it wakes up and sees the beauty of the sun shining, and suddenly… it’s not so scared anymore.

I know I’m going off on a tangent here, but I often think about the things we humans do in life that become so routine that we give no thought to it anymore and almost, take it for granted. I know, we have Science that seemingly explains “everything”… but I find it fun some times to separate myself from the ideas of this world and go into another. One where I know nothing and I’m here understanding and exploring what all this means. “Life.” So, like my analogy of the creature (us) that is terrified of sleep (even though it’s good for it) and wakes up to a new day, I see life very much the same. Some times, we get so used to the predictive routines of life that we “fall asleep’. Perhaps we take moments and people around us for granted. Life becomes easy and we are more than happy with easy! But the second a ripple flows through the current, we gasp and wonder; “What is this?” I was happy one day ago and all was this “event” has occurred and I feel scared. Some times, it’s not even an event so to speak. One day we just wake up feeling “different” and we wonder what happened to our former state of mind. This is what brings me to “Choice.” We often allow outside circumstances to predicate what we “should” feel. You know it can be anything… I for one have always been guilty of waking up and for example, realizing I can’t find two socks that match and getting frustrated that I may have to wear two colored socks because I can’t find the one that matches, and believing that because this is the start of my day, that chances are it’s going to be “one of those days” where every stupid little thing that can go wrong-will. How hilarious! Yes, I have grown up with that mindset even though it is utterly amusing and embarrassing that anyone can get so frustrated at something so little as un-matched socks but it happens! And so with that silly “event” I have already CHOSEN what my day will be, by saying;” It’s going to be one of those days.” I’m sure we all have said that at one time or another. I had the choice to not care whether I was wearing the matched socks, or neon green and hot pink socks, but because we do in fact live in a world where people WILL HAVE to say something, so many of us choose to worry so unrelentlessly about “unmatched socks.” I use this example again, as an example. I’m sure you, who are reading this can think too of moments where your anger just seems so extreme for the subject at hand, and it does ruin your day.

Now you say; sure, of course I can choose to be happy or angry about something as stupid as un-matched socks, but, life has a lot more painful events that are not so simple as just choosing to be “happy” over it. This is where it does take a serious tone. I do understand life deals us many things.  We all could go on. There is so much in this world that is not okay. We have war, death, and pain wherever we look. It is very hard to not see it. Even if one day we don’t see it on the news we know that sadly, this is a reality that exists for so many. There is so much that is so horrible that it’s hard for any of us to go on without giving it thought and feeling. I for one, have been blessed to not (so far) have to witness the unimaginable pain of what war can do…however I choose to pay it some attention because I know that it exists. I know, that there are people out there who would do anything for one night of peace- than nights of bombing. I CHOOSE to actually appreciate my life for the moment that for some-are raped from them, and I use that moment of peace to pray for them and look at what I can be doing. I know many believe that it is a selfish thing to pray–those who do not believe in that kind of thing, but I have witnessed more times than I can count, the power of what prayer does. It DOES come true. It may not be how we want it all the time, but it works. You see, I do believe in energy. I believe that where we place our energy is where energy grows. If we are thinking of fearful events and possibilities 24/7, I can assure you, those things will come to exist. If we can place our energy with loving, positive energy-that too, will exist. But we have to CHOOSE what we want to be aligned with. We can’t want love but then put so much energy to hate, and then wonder why the world is as it is. I see a world of many diverse types of people. Just as we have murderers and war-mongers, we also too, have the peace-makers and lovers of humanity. I have met people who live in war and still some how manage to live in faith and positivity. This person, who I am speaking of has been one of my greatest examples of what the mind and heart can do. I am fully inspired by people who no matter what life throws at them, manages to wake up every day with purpose and motivation. Do you know what separates these people? More often than not, these people are self-less lovers of humanity. The helpers. Instead of looking at what life has done to them, they choose to look outward and say “What can I do?’ THESE are the beautiful people that give me the hope. These are the people that my soul yearns to be like and surrounded by. I love that through these types of people I have learned of choice and how every moment we really are just one choice away from giving and being a good person on this earth and also, being happy ourselves. A lot of us get self-consumed by the pain we feel and it makes us lose touch with the people around us. We feel alone and not loved, but then it is a self fulfilling prophecy because we isolate ourselves from others and then we can’t see the love that may be right in front of us. Those that are looking outward and looking to see how they can make someone else happy are finding love left and right because they are giving it. They are not without problems but they try to transcend them.  We must all practice that selflessness if we are to be happy, and thus make those around us happy. This is why I have to share with you, that I love and believe in Christ. For me, Christ IS this. I feel he has been very missunderstood by the churches. I do believe he is whole-heartedly my saviour because of that selfless energy he carried within and I believe he gave it to others.  In my opinion and belief, he came to make right what was wrong. He showed a new way in a time that was so violent and oppressive. To me, he was and is love exemplified, he chose to give constantly and do for others. That’s what I see in him anyway. When you see someone giving to another with no thought of their own- he’s there.  I pray that everyone can experience the pure love in which he shows to those whom simply believe and trust in him. The beauty of his nature is that everyone experiences  his energy differently but one thing remains, it is always of love. For me, he is that choice. He paved a new way for us to walk. To walk in a self-less confident and faithful manner. To realize that as he is within us so to, we can spread his light.

I know that as long as I keep him growing within that I can change any dire scary moment to one of faith, strength, and love. And I can share that with others around me. So many already do. I see in this world that some people already have that Christ spirit within in them and I wonder if they even know it.


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